


Greyscale

by Insane_but_smart



Series: The MCYT Percy Jackson AU [2]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Arguments, Dissociation, Just to suffer?, Mild Hurt/Comfort, it wasn't supposed to be h/c it was supposed to be angst!!!! >:0000, whatever., why are we here?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-18
Updated: 2020-09-18
Packaged: 2021-03-07 20:13:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26523487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Insane_but_smart/pseuds/Insane_but_smart
Summary: He just wants to help, but the only way he can do that is to leave him alone.It... hurts.He thinks it does, anyways.
Series: The MCYT Percy Jackson AU [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1915525
Comments: 19
Kudos: 119





	Greyscale

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Eight0fSpades](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eight0fSpades/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Wits, Fire, and Sea](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25270081) by [Clichewho_69](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clichewho_69/pseuds/Clichewho_69), [Cygnvs](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cygnvs/pseuds/Cygnvs), [Trash_Kinggg](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Trash_Kinggg/pseuds/Trash_Kinggg). 
  * Inspired by [The Misadventures of TommyInnit](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25904899) by [Clichewho_69](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clichewho_69/pseuds/Clichewho_69), [orphan_account](https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account). 



> (Part 2 of Think Of The Children)  
> Alternatively titled 'So Close (And Yet, So Far)'.
> 
> lyn, you're the only reason I finished this. <3 feel better ily  
> It's annoyingly rushed. :( Whatever.

Tubbo wasn’t dumb.

Tommy had known that.

Thought it wasn’t like the fact was disputed at all, anyways.

Tubbo- he was also very, very, very kind. Which, in itself, wasn’t a bad thing.

Though it  _ was, _ in fact, rather annoying when you were trying to keep something a secret.

Tubbo sighed, holding up his hands. “Tommy, come on, nobody’s seen you all day and your back is bleedi-”

Tommy whirled around, glaring at his best friend (and really, his only friend in the entirety of camp). “It isn’t important, alright,  _ Toby?” _ he spat, before pausing. He’d apologize. Really, he  _ should _ apologize.

But it wouldn’t be sincere.

He had meant every single word of that sentence, but if he could eat his words he would do it in an instant.

Tubbo blinked, once, twice, something in their expression shifting. Finally, they replied, their voice nearly a whisper. “Oh. Okay.”

Their voice wavered a little near the end.

Tommy didn’t notice (or maybe he just didn’t care), and stalked off in the direction of his cabin, fists clenched tightly, eyes squeezed shut.

…Tubbo didn’t go to dinner that night.

He told himself that it was because he wasn’t hungry anyways, and that Tommy probably needed some time alone, he was a little nosey anyways and he really couldn’t help it- but it was, in fact, true.

He wasn’t…

…he didn’t… 

It wasn’t that he wanted to  _ avoid _ Tommy, that would be silly, it was just- Tommy needed some time. He just wished that he could help  _ more. _

. . .

…at least he had his bees.

Tubbo- they couldn’t stop. They couldn’t stop thinking. They wanted to be there for their friend, but he had to be alone and allowed to think but they wanted to  _ help, dammit! _ They wanted to do more, had to do more, they  _ had _ to-

It was an urge that tore at his very soul. He couldn’t concentrate, tried to sleep and failed at that too so he just lay on his bunk and thought.

What could he even do?

How could he help?   
He hated how the only way he could was to stand back and  _ watch,  _ but- but- but it  _ helped but he hated it and it was…! _

He scowled at nothing before turning over and trying to sleep.

He may have let a few tears slip, but nobody would believe you if you told them.

After all, this was Tubbo.

They never cried.

They woke up with dried teartracks and a scream caught in their throat.

Tubbo grasped at the fleeting memories of the dream (or was it a nightmare?) but in the end, came out empty-handed.

And then he laid there, a moment, two, three, four, five… six… seventeen……

He fell back asleep, but this time, he dreamt of nothing.

Or perhaps they had, but they didn’t remember a thing.

Tubbo had noticed something strange- they felt… oddly cold inside. Not like- temperature wise- how did one explain it, how would you put it into words- the feeling was just  _ cold. _ Broke- Broken! That was the word! Shattered. Apathetic…? Yeah, that too.

He was, quite simply put, a  _ mess. _ He could care less (or in his case, more) about what happened during lunch. He could care less about anything, really.

He was just… dull.

Grey.

Like… the whole world had somehow gone monochrome, and yet he still somehow perceived it in full color. It was a strange and floaty sensation, and they weren’t quite sure they enjoyed it? Was this even something they were meant to enjoy…? They weren’t quite sure. Everything was such a blurry mess. And it was so  _ dark, _ he didn’t even-

And it wasn’t that they couldn’t see…

Could he see?

Tubbo opened his eyes. Oh. When had his eyes closed? He blinked.

Oh- well- whatever.

…He had to go work on a few things (and check on his bees, for that matter, the poor things), he could think about it later.

“Toby.”

The half-blood in question turned around, a little confused and hardly paying attention. It was quite a surprise to see a certain blonde horrendously obnoxious 16 year old standing there, in the middle of the entrance to the forge, then. “Tommy?”

Tommy took a breath (although his forced smile looked much more like a grimace) and started. “T- Tubbo, I’m s-”

“Hey, hey, it’s- it’s okay, you don’t-”

“N- no,” Tommy kept going, though his voice was less shaky this time. “That was… really out of line. So… I’m sorry.”

Tubbo blinked.

And he blinked again.

He smiled- and it was the most genuine emotion he had felt that day. (Week...? ...No, it was a day.)

And sure, he was still horribly, terribly dull on the inside, he was still a broken shade of grey, but a little hint of colour seeped into the dullness.

And that hint of color? It made everything just a  _ little _ bit more bearable.

“Oh, ‘s alright, Tommy, I forgive you.”

Tubbo couldn’t mean it more.

**Author's Note:**

> (i stopped writing one fic just to finish this one lol)  
> This fic is your Friendly Reminder(tm) that Tubbo uses he/him *and* they/them pronouns (while still identifying as male, which is cool and super duper valid), which I see... literally nowhere, which kind of ticks me off. So. I fixed that. (If I'm wrong though, tell me and I shall rectify my potential mistake.)  
> I'm not incredibly proud of this, but... whatever. I can't really add much to the fics, I think. So... yyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeaaaaaaahhhhhh.
> 
> Please leave a comment if you enjoyed! They give me life(, liberty, and the pursuit of freedom).
> 
> There are a lot of parentheses in this Author's Note, good gods.


End file.
